A Lemony Snickett State-Of-Mind
What’s this? Suddenly this little of nowhere has an occupant again? Doest your eyes deceive you? Well, they’re only deceiving you if you somehow see the image of a giant commando carrot somewhere on this page. But other than that, yes indeed, there is life yet in this little bit of nowhere.
So where have I been, you ask? And furthermore, you still ask, where’s Waldo? While I cannot answer the latter question, I can say that a series of unpleasant if not unfortunate events has been dogging me the last few days, and where my philosophy is concerned it’s good to stay silent when you’d as soon not talk to people.
Certainly the last few days have by no means been wonderful, but I’m not about to dwell on them and rant and whine and complain. That will really accomplish nothing, and besides, I have already set my resolve to move past them. Winston Churchill was indeed right when he once said, "When you’re marching through hell, keep marching."
And besides, that’s not to say that nothing of the peculiarly ridiculous has crossed my paths in the last few days either. Why, just the other day I discovered that my sex appeal extends to more than mere elevator doors: I was goosed by a laptop carrier bag. I had placed it atop the cash counter and was filling it with the usual crumpled paper so as to let customers see how much the bag can hold. Well, I turned my back on it for but a brief second to grab another handful of stuffing…and the next thing I know, my ass had been smacked.
Some of you may argue that the bag was just sitting off-balance, and just happened to smack my ass by sheer accident when it toppled over. But I’m pretty sure this whole incident was pre-meditated on the laptop carrier’s part. I’m suddenly concerned to turn my back on the large 29' luggage carriers we have in the store….
I should also add that nothing is so amusing in the morning as coming into the mall and seeing a kindly old lady with a flyswatter, racing madly across the foodcourt in an ultimately futile attempt to swat an offending fly. She almost managed a kill over the course of five different swats on five different foodcourt tables before giving up.
In other news, I note that Fox Kids is adding a new TV Anime series to their Saturday morning line-up: Shaman King. For those unawares, the series is about a bunch of people (most of then in high school) who are shamans and can communicate with the spirits of the dead. In fact, these shamans are so good that they can use these spirits in actual combat, and the one destined to be the ultimate Shaman (or, the Shaman King, for those of you not paying attention to the title of the series) has to contend with a lot of very nasty shamans who want that mantle and power for themselves.
Oddly enough, when I first learned about this being picked up for, of all things, a Saturday morning slot, my first thought was not to cringe and say, "I hope they don’t botch up the series when they dub it." Nor did I think, "Well, one more series to help Anime become more accepted as not-just-for-kids."
Knowing full well the shamanic nature of the series, my first thought was this: the betting pool is open as to how fast overreactive parents and religious groups panic about the series and start protesting.
Today’s Lesson: even if life hands you lemons, you still need sugar and an outdoor stand before cashing in on any sort of lemonade.
posted by Phillip at 8:25 AM
